I'll get back there....

I love this picture. It's from back in 2008 at my nephew's first birthday. I was around 210lbs. Look how happy I am! There are not many photos these days where I can look at them and think I look pretty. Sad but true. This picture though I think I am. ;-)
I'll get back there. I swear! 

Still here....

I'm still around folks. Still struggling but still around.

The good news is today I managed to fit into an outfit I haven't worn in probably over two years. I also now am able to fit into my jeans that have been artwork hanging from my wall since June. They are also a piece of clothing I couldn't fit into for over two years as well.

YAY!!!!!

 This yet again reminds me not all victories are seen on the scale. 

I now have a new pair of jeans hanging from my wall. Right now I can fit them over my hips, but I can't do them up. I  promise you though, I will be able to very soon!

Jeans I can finally fit back into after over 2 years!

 My next pair of jeans that I will soon be able to fit back into!

Progress Picture

One of my best friends and I before she had to fly off to Australia (where she now lives). I miss her so much already.

November 19th. My weight - 225.8lbs
Now I weigh even less.  Okay, well..... not by much, but still ;-)

Progress Picture #4

For all of my progress pictures, see the tab at the top of my blog.

My Neck, or lack there of...

Jeppers....

How long is it going to take for me to get my neck back? I mean granted this is an absolute horrible picture of me, but look at that double chin. Dear god people! Where is my neck?

Dreadful!!!!

...and this one? Same thing? Sure the kid is cute, but once again there is no neck! Side profile - Not so sexy people!

So how many pounds will it take so I'm like this photo without the camera shooting down from above?
20 more? 40 more? 60 more?

I like this girl. This is the girl I'm fighting for. The girl with only one chin and this is why I will not give up. I will not let crap moods ruin my hard work going forward. I can not gain more weight. I will fight to the death to lose this weight and lose it once and for all!!!! Why? Because I want to like every picture that is taken of me not just stupid photos shot from above!

Bed Head?

Nope. That's Runner's head! I went out this morning for a run and damn it was windy!!!!!!! The reason I didn't put my hair up was because well.....I can't. It's too short. The reason I didn't wear a hat? I'm a dumb ass! Okay, not really.  What it comes down to is a) I'm not a fan of hats, and b) I had no idea it was that windy out!

As you can imagine this run was flipping hard. I was against the wind most of the route. I wanted to run for 40min, but was having a hard time after 30 so I just came home. I really have to start licking my finger and testing the wind before I start running!

Better

Okay....so perhaps I over reacted a little on the hip thing yesterday. Perhaps, I had a 'oh my god, I have a headache, it must be a tumor'  moment.  My hips are fine today. lol..... They feel much, much better. I did everything I said I was going to do, and it did help a lot. I should be good to go with my run with my friend on wednesday and then again on sunday when the real run happens. Fingers crossed.

Aside from the hip thing though I've been struggling a little with my emotions lately. I've been sad, happy, hurt, angry and excited all the in span of a couple days. It can be a bit exhausting. The 'issues' aren't huge and nothing too too concerning, but emotions are emotions no matter how big or small the issues are.  The good news is (and the reason I'm telling you this) is that I didn't gravitate to food for comfort this time. I sat with my emotions and although upset and feeling like I needed a hard drink and a bucket of ice cream, I managed to talk myself through these feelings and move on. Sure some things still weigh on my heart, but  I'm determined to not let a little disappointment from a friend cause me to derail my efforts to live my best life.

I think this is why I feel this journey to a better health (and an hourglass figure) just might be different for me this time. I know I've had a blog for years now and have come and gone from it as my weight has gone up and down, but this time things feel different. I have this determination I didn't have before, I have motivation I never had, and I have an attitude that is different. I wish I could explain it better, but I just know I can do it this time. I will reach my goal. I will get healthy. I promise!

I'll leave you with a picture that my Mother sent me tonight. It's the reason this run on sunday is so important to me.  See the dog? See the lady behind (and just slightly to the right) of lady with the dog? That's my Mom!

Still Meatless

Well ladies and gents, I've been meatless for over a week! I am feeling so much better digestive wise *wink wink* and haven't been craving meat at all. Okay well, the bacon that my friend had on her burger did look tasty, but we all know how salty/fatty bacon can be. In other words....who needs it?! Plus, bacon comes from pigs, and I heart pigs and their cute little noses. 

Yesterday I went to Wimpy's Diner for lunch after going geocaching (yes, a tad geeky, but I love it.) with friends. I had THE BEST veggie burger I have ever had. Way better than Harvey's Burgers or Licks for that matter.  I had to ask the waitress twice if it was 'for sure' a veggie burger. I could have sworn it was beef. Sadly I don't know the nutritional info on it, but man oh man, it was so good.

Tonight I made veggie shepherd's pie adapted from Steff's Shepherd Pie from All Recipes.com

All I did was use Yves veggie ground round instead of beef (which was surprisingly tasty btw).  I also decided to added one clove of garlic to the veggie ground while it cooked on the stove. I also added corn to the recipe, and I used peas this time instead of beans (although I've used beans before and it is just as tasty!). I used low fat cheese of course and reduced sodium mushroom soup as well.  I have to say I loved it!  The veggie ground fooled me just like the veggie burger did. It tasted just like beef.  I swear! Now I just have to watch my serving sizes, because I want more and more and more! Sorry for the ugly picture...but it gives you an idea of the delicious dish.

Today was suppose to be my first running training day, but it's raining out and well...I'm motivated, but not that motivated at the moment. I am planning a walk/run date with one of my girlfriends on wednesday, so I'm looking forward to that. I'm also planning to get back to the pool for Aquafit on thursday morning this week. I've been away from it for too long and I know I'll feel much better after going. This week although I've felt better, I'm still tired all the time. After geocaching I came home and crashed. I know once I start exercising again I'll feel that much more energized. Here's hoping anyway! 

Cross Country Skiing!!!!!

What a difference a day makes! I felt great this morning when I woke up and was ready for a day of fun. This winter I really wanted to go cross country skiing. It was something that I had done a couple times when I was in high school (way back in grade 9), and I always remembered how fun it was. When trying to think of things that I could do to get moving this winter, cross country skiing was one of the activities that first came to mind.

Thankfully I have a few friends that were interested when I asked them so one of them and I finally managed to get out on the trails today! I was so excited. We headed to a ski resort at 10:30am and after renting the equipment we were out on the trails at 11:15.

Today was a gorgeous day to be outside. The sun was shinning and it was only -8C (18F for my American friends). I managed to find a  new winter sports jacket yesterday (for cheap!) when shopping with my best friend so I wore that and some new snow pants. The coat was super warm. All I had to wear underneath was one light long sleeve shirt and under the snow pants I just wore some tights. I wasn't cold at all.

We of course tried the beginner trail and it took us an hour to complete( it was a pretty long trail). It wasn't too bad though and I only fell twice! lol.... Then we decided that we would do the express trail because we weren't really tired yet and wanted more of a workout and were having fun! The express trail was a little more challenging for me. More hills to go up and more to go down (only fell once though on that trail!).  My heart rate went up for sure and my breathing was more rapid let me tell ya!

The express trial took us 45min to complete and at the end  we were both tired and ready to leave. It was a great workout and lots of fun for sure.  I came  home covered in sweat so had a long shower, inhaled lunch and now I'm just relaxing on the couch checking some blogs. Tonight I have a housewarming party to go to. It should be a great time as well. I'm looking forward to it.

I only ended up taking three pictures while out on the trial. Here is one of me on my skies just after finishing the first beginner trail. Don't I look all professional? lol...

UP +2lbs

Old Weight = 244lbs
Current = 246lbs

Total lost = 2.5lbs since Jan 1st.


That's what happens when you lay in bed for a week and eat Burger King and other fatty foods for comfort.

I have decided it's time to go back to counting points. I really don't want to, but obviously I need to. Operation January to June is not kicking ass and it needs to start to. So being that it is Feb 1st, I thought it would be a good time to start.

I do want to reach some sort of goal by my Birthday, but I haven't put a number on it. I'm not sure whether I should or not. Really I have five full months until my birthday on June 27th. Could I lose 40lbs by then? Is that too much to ask?  I don't think so, but it's going to take a lot of hard work and determination. Something I must  admit I still struggle with. I can do this though.

Several of my friends have started getting healthy this year and are losing weight. They too are counting points. They are doing what they said they were going to do. I need to start too. I don't want to be that girl that talked the talk, but didn't walk the walk. I don't want to be that girl that was the one that talked the most about changing her life, but never did. I don't want to be the only friend in our little group that didn't reach her goals. How embarrassing would that be?

I have reached every goal I have set for myself in the past. Not that I really set a lot, but normally if I set something for myself, I accomplish that goal. With weight loss though, I can't seem to do it, and I'm not sure why. I need to change my thinking, my behaviour, my inner voice. I need to believe I can do this, as much as I believed I could concur school, buy a house, or go to Africa. I need to believe I can so I'm going to work on that too.

I still have my skinny jeans hanging on my wall in my bedroom. I will get into those suckers again. I will...that is my goal!