Being kind to myself

I'm still here. Amazing isn't it? ;-) The best part is so is my motivation!

The last few days have been a bit busy with family stuff, but I did manage to get out for a walk today. I do have to rest and nap as I prep for work tonight, but because it's a gorgeous 28C (82F) day here in southern ontario I didn't want to waste it entirely.  I ended up walking an hour on the route, that in the past I have run. Even though I didn't run it this time, my high pace walk got my heart rate to 114 bpm and sweating like a beast, so my mission was still accomplished. My mission you ask? Well...

Burning f*ing calories of course!

....and lets face it. My fast walk probably is as fast as my slow run right about now!

Other than that, I've been reading this  new book I picked up at Chapters the other day. I decided not to go with the 17 day diet book, but instead I'm reading "the kind diet" by Alicia Silverstone.
I'm not saying I'm going vegan or anything, but I feel this diet is better geared to a vegetarian and that is what I am....so here goes nothing. I'm yet again learning about the benefits of complex carbs, grains, beans and vegetables I can't really even pronounce the name of. Hopefully this time it will stick and I'll be making great healthy meals in no time, rather than running to the local drive thru which always seems to be my fall back when being 'bad'. Oh how I LOVE french fries! Let me tell you though. Much like the rest of my love life *sigh* They don't love me! As a result I gave them up entirely just like meat poultry, fish, coffee and pop about a month ago. Hopefully I can keep it up like I have with the rest.

Anyway, more on the exercise front. I also am looking at joining a gym. Something I haven't done in years. There is a small one across the road from me that I might try. It's called Anytime Fitness. A friend's husband goes there for only $30/month, so if I can get  a deal like that....I'm in! I've realized that if I'm going to continue with my running, I have to do it indoors. I use the (crazy) changing weather patterns of Southern Ontario too often as an excuse. This way I could still workout no matter what.

In the meantime though, I've decided to start doing yoga again! I just signed up for a beginner four week yoga class that starts on wednesday! I'm very excited to get back at it. I'm also going to attend their free class they offer down at the local waterfront on friday evenings.  It should be lovely.

So I'm feeling good and staying focused. Yes, I could be doing even more, but for now I'm happy where I am at and that's all that matters. I've just turned 32 and by 33 I hope to be around the same weight, energy and self confidence level that I was when I was 23. I'm giving myself a year to lose my unwanted pounds. I can do it peeps. I know I can. I just need to stay focused and not get derailed by life.

Me @ 23 in Ghana, West Africa having the time of my life
Weight at about 170lbs (I'm 5'11" remember)

Hope Rising

It's been a long time and as always when I'm away from blogging I'm usually sitting in front of the TV eating. Well....not entirely, but you get what I mean.

The last few months have been challenging. Details I will not share online, but the good news is that somehow out of disappointment and despair has come hope. A hope that the feelings I have been experiencing lately will pass and that I once again can start to focus on myself rather than others.

Today was the first time in a long time I felt motivated to watch what I eat and to exercise again. For awhile now I just haven't cared, and because of that my weight has only gone up! I have officially gained all my weight back plus 5 pounds. ugh.....

Oh well..... as my father says, it is what it is. Today is a new day. Although  I didn't count points today,  I know I was 'good'. I even went out for a run. Something I haven't done consistently if at all in eight months!

I do have this goal now that is in the back of my head that I'm hoping I can keep there.

60 in 6

Sixty pounds in six months.

I know that is a lot of weight and something I  will not attain....but that is okay. Really 60 in 6 is just a way of saying to myself -- Sonya... kick some ass and lose as much weight as you can in the next six months. Stay focused and anything is possible.

I also have a goal to run the CIBC 'Run for the Cure' again in October. I missed running the PRIDE run because I stopped running am I'm  out of shape. I'll be damned if I  miss doing the cancer run too!

So here's to moving forward and leaving the past behind me. It's time I start feeling proud of myself again. It's time I start to feel confident again and happy.  Are you with me people? I hope so!

Baby Steps

I'm currently working the graveyard shift. I usually get up at 4:30pm get washed and dressed, watch a bit of TV and head to work at about 6:15pm. Not last night though!

Yesterday I woke up at 3:15pm, did an hour workout using my two new wii videos/games which I mentioned in my previous post and then continued on with my regular routine. Woohooo!!!!! Finally my mojo is coming back!

I do like the games I bought, especially 'Just Dance 2'. That one I just felt like I was having fun in my living room dancing rather than actually working out. Of course this makes me more willing to give it a shot again! ;-) I ended up dancing to 6 songs (their turbo preprogramed workout), before switching to 'The biggest Loser Challenge" Wii game. It was also good, but can not be fooled as anything but a workout game. I felt the burn and did the workout for another 30 minutes. By the end I was glad it was over. Next time I might reverse the order, do the harder workout first, then end with dancing!
Food wise. I'm still not tracking, but I have made a promise to myself to eat a salad a day. Right now I'm just buying Dole ready made salad's from the grocery store. Hopefully in the future I can learn to be a bit more creative!
Anyway, that's where I'm at. Onward and upward, keeping my eye on the prize.

I just ran

I just ran.

I just ran after working a 12hr overnight shift.

I just ran when I didn't want to.

I just ran when I really, really didn't want to.

I just ran because I told myself I would.

why am I telling you this?

Because I am proud.

Proud of the fact I ran.

Proud of the fact I ran after working all night.

Proud of the fact I ran when I didn't want to.

Proud of the fact I ran when I really, really didn't want to.

and

Proud of the fact I ran when I told myself I would!!!!

The Bad and The Good (better to end on the positive!)

The bad - I haven't blogged in 4 days

The good - I'm back

The bad - I'm struggling with food again

The good -  I have not once thought of throwing in the towel completely

The bad - I gained 2.4lbs this week

The good - it could have been 7lbs like last time ;-)

The bad - I wanted to stay in bed all day today

The good - I didn't.

The bad - I feel like the pit of despair is attempting to suck me back in. 

The good - I'm resisting with everything I got and even made a doctors appointment hoping for some help. Take that PIT!

The bad - I spent a shit load of money today - retail therapy? 

The good - It was mostly on running gear!


The bad - I feel like an idiot in a running store as I have no clue what gear to get and why
The good - Running Room staff rock and were very helpful! 

The bad - I only had one choice of jacket to buy at the running room and one colour choice because I needed an XXL.

The good - An XXL FIT! 16 pounds ago it probably wouldn't have. Plus the sleeves are long enough and at least the colour was burgundy, and not bright yellow! 

The bad - the new XL long sleeve running room shirt I bought shows all my rolls as it's a bit too snug.

The good - No one will ever see it because I'll be wearing my snazzy new jacket over top of it.  By spring I hope to be thinner so  it will fit better! 

The bad - I spend about $150.00 on new running shoes....ugh.....

The good - They ROCK!

The bad - I can't find my Nike+ sensor

The good - I didn't let that stop me from timing my run tonight. I used my ipod stopwatch instead (which I just realized it had!)

The bad - I can never join an "in store class/clinics" at the Running Room so I can meet new people.
The good - they have an online clinic so at least I can still interact with an instructor and learn the many secrets of running! 


The bad - I'm still a slow runner

The good - I ran my long run route tonight in 29 min, 53 sec, when it usually takes me about 31min. 


The bad - I'm running another 5K by myself on Sunday.
The good - 499+ strangers are also running a 5K on sunday so I actually might be faster than one of them! ;-) 


The bad - It's suppose to rain on Sunday
The good - you know that jacket I just bought? It's waterproof!!!!! 

pain in the........

I think the pressure I'm putting on myself to lose this one pound is backfiring on me. I'm too stressed out about it and that's causing me to eat. When you have yummy left overs in the house, this is not a good thing.

Thanksgiving leftovers are evil people!!!! Soooooo good, but sooooooo evil! I really do fear a gain, but I know I've let it happen. I need to really just get back to my mantra of "one day at a time" and stop looking beyond that.

I did get out for my run last night with a friend and her family though. Running buddies rock!  It was a great run, but about an hour later my hips started to hurt, and hurt bad. I took some ibuprofen and put some deep relief on them, but still the pain was making it so I couldn't sleep. Add that to the fact exercise always seems to wake me up so I go to bed later anyway and the fact I had a nap during the day, I didn't fall sleep until 6am! 6 AM PEOPLE!!!!! I was suppose to be at work at 7:00!!!!! Of course, I called into work and said I wasn't coming. I'm not proud of it, but there is no way I can function on no sleep.

I ended up waking up around 12:30pm, and now I'm still just resting in bed. My hips are still really sore. I hate that I get this bilateral hip pain after my runs. It seems to be happening more and more now that my speed is a bit faster - mind you not by much!  I'm going to try using my foam roller again to see if that will help. I'm also wondering whether it's time to buy new shoes. Mine are a few years old, and although I didn't start wearing them regularly until this past March, maybe it's time. Mind you maybe it's just an excuse to buy a new pair! Either way I have to do more to control this hip pain I keep getting. I don't want it to derail my running efforts.

Speaking of running efforts, I signed up for the online 5K training program via the Running Room! I can't attend the in store sessions because of my schedule, so I decided to try out their web program. My hip pain is concerning because now I need to increase my running from 2 times a week (my average) to three! On top of this, my next 5K is on sunday! Ahhhhh, go away pain!!!!!

5K just because.....

I was inside all day working.

7:15am-7:15pm

I finally stepped outside after my shift and realized how gorgeous a night it was.

It was mild.

The stars were out.

and there was no crazy ass wind!

What did I decide to do?

RUN!

Tonight I ran 5K for the hell of it.

WTF?

Who am I?

Where's the real Sonya?

Where's the girl who has bitched and complained about running and having to get out there?

Is she gone?

Maybe...

Okay well....

For today!

I wanted to run tonight.

I saw a beautiful night and my first thought was I should run!

I didn't want to waste it.

This is when I realized......

Perhaps I truly am making a lifestyle change.

I ran because I WANTED to run.

(oh right, I said that!)

I will not give this up.

Run Sonya Run! 

Bed Head?

Nope. That's Runner's head! I went out this morning for a run and damn it was windy!!!!!!! The reason I didn't put my hair up was because well.....I can't. It's too short. The reason I didn't wear a hat? I'm a dumb ass! Okay, not really.  What it comes down to is a) I'm not a fan of hats, and b) I had no idea it was that windy out!

As you can imagine this run was flipping hard. I was against the wind most of the route. I wanted to run for 40min, but was having a hard time after 30 so I just came home. I really have to start licking my finger and testing the wind before I start running!

Iron Running

Today was a good day. I got to sleep in, I did a little shopping and I bought went for a run.

Included in the things I bought while out, I bought one large cast iron skillet. It weighs about 100lbs!!!!!  As the website "kitchen products" explains.....

One of the biggest issues (as a vegetarian) is having to take vitamins in order to compensate for the loss of iron that one would gain from eating beef.  If you cook with cast iron cookware, however, then you’re luckier than most.

Studies have shown that the minerals from cast iron cookware attach themselves to food that is being prepared, thus putting an amount of iron that would not be present in vegetarian food.  By purchasing cast iron cookware, you could have some of the same health benefits as a non-vegetarian, as well as having really great, long-lasting pots and pans.

I ended up buying one because a) I've been thinking about it for awhile now as my iron levels aren't the greatest, and b) I found one that was dirt cheap!  I ended up  buying an Emeril Lagasse cast iron skillet. It was the only one of it's size there, and because it wasn't 'perfect' so was marked half off!  Score!!!!! 

After I came home I changed and then headed out again to meet my friend for our long run together. She wanted to run the route of our 5K this coming sunday, so I decided to do it with her. We ran the 5K doing our 10s and 1s and finished just over 40min. We're slow, but mighty! We both found it to be a tough route with lots of stupid hills, but now going forward we know we can do it. We know we can finish and we're both looking forward to Sunday!! :-)

Good Day for this gal!

One week until my next 5K run! Woooohooooo!!!!!

I went out tonight and ran for thirty minutes. This has been my longest run I've done in awhile. The best part is the run felt great! I did 10s and 1s (10min runs with 1min walks in between) and made it through without any issues. My pace was even pretty awesome too. Okay well, maybe awesome is overkill.   I'm no speedy ganzales by any means, but I am definitely faster than fifteen pounds ago! 

Today I was on point as well. Thirty points bang on. Nothing less, nothing more. You want to know why this was so important?

I had flipping french fries yesterday....but wait.....let me explain!!!!!

Yesterday I went and volunteered. I usually clean out some stalls (I volunteer at a horse stable for those who don't already know), but this time I did that, but also helped hull a crap load of stuff from a horse trailer to a barn where they were setting up for a horse show.  I wasn't expecting to do the ladder. It was totally unexpected. I usually am there from about 9-11am. Yesterday I was there from 9-4pm. 

I ate a bowl of instant oatmeal with some almond milk for 3 points before I went there at 8:30am.

By noon I was hungry.

By 3:30pm I was freak'in starving.

So when the women I volunteered for wanted french fries from a chip truck herself and wanted to treat me for helping her and her son out, I was in no mood to say no.  I just wanted some food. Sue me. Shit happens!

Obviously the chips did not derail me and that is a good thing! Months ago, it might have, but today I was even more determined to stay on point and kick some ass and I did!  Oh yes, I rock ;-)

You want to know who else rocks? Becky Johns that's who! Why? Well, because this gal gave me a 

blog award that's why! I've been awarded the Substance Award. I'm truly flattered that someone out there thinks my blog has substance. Yay!!!! Thanks Becky!!!!

The task at hand now is to describe the philosophy, motivation and experience behind my blog.  Only FIVE WORDS?  Bloody hell! Oh wait, that's only two! How about this.....

 HARD WORK DOES PAY OFF! 

Really I just see my blogging as an online diary. I'm not looking for a lot of readers and I'm not into contests.  I always had a diary growing up and for me this is just the 21st century version of the same.  It still blows my mind that people care enough to read what's going on in my life and comment on it.  I truly do love the blogging community and I thank you from the bottom of my  heart for all the love and support! 

Next I'm suppose to pass this award on to ten other blogs (only 10?) that also have substance. Here goes nothing. It's time to spread some love.

In no particular order.....

Laura gets Fit

Mousearoo's Mumblings

The Next Chapter

Tammy's Tales

Rescuing Lisa

Organically Me

Mirandas Jeans

A New Healthy Me

Confessions of a + Sized Girl

H-Woman's Random Ramblings

These blogs (among others) I love to read. If you haven't found out about them on your own yet, I recommend stopping by them for some inspiration! 

Yum!

I made one of my favourite dishes today. Today being last night for the rest of you. Yes, I'm still working my crazy stretch of night shifts and writing this at 4:00am. What can I say...it's been a slow night here.
Today I decided to make Shepard's Pie.  I've actually talked about this recipe before here. It actually might have been the last time I made it too. Why? I have no clue, it's so freak'in yummy!

The recipe is originally not for vegetarians. Hello, it's shepard's pie, but I use Yves Veggie Ground Round (awesome stuff) as my ground beef.  Tonight, I decided to add onions and fresh mushrooms to my 'meat' along with the green beans and corn I usually add in. I have to say the additions were fantastic!  Of course I use low fat cream of mushroom soup and cheese and I added in some garlic powder just because. I truly loved it and the best part, when I put the ingredients into my WW recipe builder to calculate how many points it was it turns out to be only 5 points per serving (six servings total). Not too shabby I'd say!

In other news, I'm coming up to doing a run that is very important to me. Last year I watched from the sidelines and wished I could do it, but couldn't. This year I can and I am! On October 3rd, I'll be participating in the 5K CIBC Run for the Cure. Who am I running for? My Mom!!! :-)

NSV - got to love them!

We all do it. We all keep clothing we once use to be able to fit into, but can't anymore. For me, I've kept a few pairs of pants and a few t-shirts. The favourites as we say. I coudn't fit into any of them until.....last night!!!! For kicks I thought I'd try on this 'baby doll' kind of shirt that I just love and couldn't give away when I was heavier. To my surprise  it fit!!!! Wooohoooo, got to love it!!!!

About a month or two ago I tried this puppy on and it was skin tight around the mid-section. I still have more to lose to make it fit even better, but I'd say I don't look half bad! I definitely have more room in it, than I use to! :-) It's feels so great to get back into this shirt. It just confirms I'm taking steps in the right direction. Yay for non-scale victories.

Tonight I'm meeting my friend and we're going running again. This is a good thing considering I went to a party last night. I did pretty well food wise when there, but I had to guess on a couple things. As a result,  getting in some extra exercise to counter balance everything is a must. The only thing is, I feel like ASS. I'm still catching up on my sleep that I missed last week. I'm still so tired and all I feel like doing is crawling into bed. I also have this pressure headache that doesn't seem to be going away.  I'm taking my own advice though and sucking it up and will get my ass out there anyway.   I know I'll feel better in the end.  Fingers crossed!

Who knew I was so scary?!

I did my first run in the dark tonight. I worked a 12 hour shift, came home,  had some ipod syncing issues and didn't get out for my run until just after 9pm. It was dark. Blackness was everywhere (a true sign summer is over in my neck of the woods), but I put on a brave face and hit the road making sure I was under street lights the whole time.  

I did enjoy the calm that comes with running at night. Most people are in their houses, there is less cars on the road and it's a peaceful kind of quiet.  I have to admit though that as I ran under one street light my shadow scared the hell out of me. haha...oops! This was only because the entire time I  feared someone jumping out of no where and attacking me. ...ugh..... Needless to say  I survived though, and I did enjoy the run. 

When I came home from work (and before I went running),  I was excited to see that I finally received an issue of the new veggie magazine called "Vegetarian Times" I ordered awhile ago. I was beginning to wonder when it was coming. I'm still to this day waiting for my WW one. Fingers crossed it also arrives soon!  Anyway,  I haven't had a chance to look at what's inside of my cool new magazine yet, but I'll be sure to inform you of anything super cool or interesting! I have to say it's not as thick as I was expecting it to be, but it's also not 4 pages if you know what I mean. 

Anyway, I've had a very long day and not a lot of sleep in the last couple of nights so I shall sign off for now. This girl needs her beauty rest.....mind you at this point I'd be happy with some ugly rest! 

One last thing though.... I always am very grateful for the comments each and everyone of you write on my blog. I know I don't say it often enough, but your words of encouragement and support I truly appreciate. Today I received a very touching anonymous comment from a reader. To you I say thank you. Thank you for taking the extra time to write me a note. A note that made me smile. A note that reminds me that I am not alone, so once again, thank you! 

Back in Control

The run last night was wonderful. I actually had a moment where I thought..."ahhhh, I've missed this". I know, I  surprised myself considering the complaining I do about it on a regular basis. The weather was awesome, the route was great and we ran for 24 minutes. Not too long, not too short, but just right. It was great to run with a friend who's also learning to run because we found that we're both at the exact same pace. So when we say we're going to run together we actually mean it. When I have run with my bff before, well.....we start out running together and then she leaves my slow ass in the dust and sits on a bench waiting for me to finish.  It's still nice to get out there with her, but obviously I prefer to run beside someone rather than behind them.

Today I did well with my food and have stayed on program all week. It's great to feel in control again and focused. I was out of sorts for the month of August and I hated it. I felt like crap most days, my belly was beginning to bother me again, and I was tired all the time. I was also pretty stressed out which never makes a girl feel fabulous.  I'm actually excited to find out how much I've lost on thursday. I'm hoping for good results.  Fingers crossed!

Anyway, I found this WW veggie dish I'm going to try to make this week.  I thought I'd share the link with you. It looks like an interesting concept.  Have any of you tried anything like this before? It's called Mama Mia vegetable pie. 

Happy Labour Day!

I've had the week off and it's been wonderful. I was able to check off many item on my 'to do' list,  and still have down time. Almost too much down time. Today I'm bored. Bored out of my bloody skull really. My friends are busy with their own lives and I'm trying to stay busy in mine, but it's hard. I've done everything or at least most things already! So today, I returned some movies, mailed a letter, emptied the dishwasher and did some reading. This girl is STILL trying to get through that wonderful vampire novel Eclipse! The first book I read in about 3 days if even that, the 2nd and 3rd book...ugh... I just can't get into it, but I've bought the series and I'm committed to reading it so I push on. Personally I think Edward is a little too damn controlling at the moment!

Right now I'm watching an episode of Sue Thomas - FBEye (which I have to say I enjoy) along with updating my blog. Yay!  Later I am going for a run.  Yup, I said it. A RUN!!!! This girl is about to move her ass everyone! A friend (who will be home by then) and I are running tonight at 7:30pm. I'm looking forward to it and not, all at the same time. I say this because I haven't run in awhile, but hey....at least it's not humid out today! The weather is actually pretty perfect for a run.

One thing I forgot to share is that I got back on the saddle again on friday. Literally! After 16 years I had a surprise horse backing riding lesson where I volunteer. Just out of the blue after I was finished cleaning stalls, I was asked if I wanted to ride. So I did!!!! It was fantastic! I miss it so much and really want to get back at it more.  Fingers crossed I can make that happen soon. The backs of my thighs are really sore now, so here's hoping that doesn't affect my run tonight. I need to do some mega stretching!

Today, I didn't cook really (more of a reheat day of left overs) but I will share a new product I picked up at the grocery store and tried already. Yet again, Yves brand does not disappoint.  Even non-vegetarians would like their products I swear! I picked up their veggie bacon strips the last time I was at the grocery store. This morning I made my version of an Egg and Bacon McMuffin. It was to die for. The best part is these little bacon strips are only 25cals each, which means I can have two for a point! Woohooo!  I remember trying turkey and chicken bacon when I ate meat and was on WW before. I have to say I like these veggie bacons strips better! Yves doesn't pay me to say this...but I will anyway. Check them out!

A run and yoga - say what?

Blogging truly does keep me accountable. I said I was going to run today on a previous post and because I said that (and I didn't want to let you down, or myself down), I did it!

I'm pleased to report that after seeing the movie Inception, I came home and ran as I planned at around 9pm. What a difference from my last run. It felt fantastic. It's 22C outside, but actually feels that way too! No humidity tonight and because of that, I did not feel like I was going to die this time. Thank you Jesus!  I felt great actually and my pace is improving. I can feel it! I'm so pleased. I'm less discouraged, and I'm motivated to push forward. I will be a runner gosh darn it. One way or another, I will be.

After my run, I came home and knew I had to do some yoga. Over on Lynn's blog The Next Chapter she has decided to host a challenge and I signed up for it.  The Challenge? Seven days of full on yoga. Wooohoooo!!!! Are we on the same page or what?!  Just a few days ago I was telling my coworkers and best friend that I need to get back into practicing yoga. I fell in love with it back in January and then a few months later stopped. I have no idea why really, but I did....ugh....story of my life.

 I went to the website that Lynn recommended and did my first free (key word - free!!!!) 20min yoga session. The session I did is called Yoga for Weight loss. Kind of a no brainer to pick that one, don't you think? It was a great 20 minute session. I uploaded it on my little laptop. Put my laptop in between my cat's beds on the bench at the end of my bed and did the session in my bedroom. I have yet to get a yoga mat, but really I didn't need one.  My carpet was fine.  Some poses were hard for me. I'm out of practice, out of shape and had never done some of the poses before.  I managed though and now feel stronger and more relaxed all at the same time!  


One tip though...... 

If you are doing yoga at home and you have cats....you might want to lock them out of the room when you practice. Emily my eldest kitty thought it would be a great idea to purrrr like a crazy cat and lick me while I was doing my breathing exercises at the start of the session! Cute? Absolutely, but she didn't really help me get into the zone if you know what I mean! 

Run Sonya Run!

Well folks, not only did I lose 3lbs this week, but this girl got off her arse and ran today! 

I have been feeling pretty crappy lately that I have let my fear of running in the heat and humidity (I still don't have a gym membership) get in the way of reaching my goals. Today was the day I said "f*ck it, I'm running!"

Well folks...holy crapbars....I thought I was going to die. Yeah, I know what you might be thinking, and yes, perhaps I'm being a bit of a drama queen here, but dudes, it was 28 degrees (82F) outside and that's not even taking into account the humidity!!!!!! The wonderful weather network tells me with the humidity it 'feels like' 40 degrees (104F!!!!).  I sure know how to face a fear, don't I? I even ran at 3pm!  Of course ideally I would have liked to run in the morning or late at night when it's cooler, but I can't with my damn work schedule (unless off of course). This is why I've put off running lately because the time I can run, it's so freak'in hot, but not today ladies and gents, not today!

I decided to go back to doing workouts from the C25K program that I loved before. I did week 4, Run 1. Am I proud of the fact I can't run as long as I could before? No, not really, but I am proud I got out there. I am hoping when cooler weather hits us again I can get back to running the distances I was before, but for now I'll deal.  Like I said, I have this fear, my body is not use to the humidity and I'm out of practice....plus lets face it...I'm still fat.... oh sorry...obese.... Thanks BMI!

Week 4 of the C25K is this...

walk 5 min
Run for 3
walk for 90sec
run for 5
walk for 2 min
run for 3
walk for 90 sec
run for 5
walk for 5

The first rotation was okay. The last rotation was (my famous word) BRUTAL!!!!! I wanted to quit so many times since I still don't have that determination that I used to. I just kept saying to myself though (sometimes even out loud) I can do this. A couple times I was in the zone so much I said it when people were near me. I seriously think they thought I was coo-coo!

Once I was finished I once again passed out on a grassy hill near my house. I literally ended up in the recovery position! lol... It was so hard peeps. It took me a long time for my breathing to get back to normal, but I did it.

This time around ( if you've been reading my blog, you'll know this is not my first trip around the block with WW) I really want to get this exercise AND eating right thing down pat at the same time. Somehow all these years I've only been able to focus on one or the other. It's like focusing on both takes too much brain power for me or something....ugh....Hello, I'm a smart cookie, I should be able to do both at the same time for god sakes,  but for some reason I haven't been able to. Here's hoping I can truly change that from here on out!

So here's to a brutal awesome day of running with many more to come!

Goals, goals, goals....

(sorry, it's a long one).....

I feel like I've lost my focus. I need to get it back. I feel like I'm letting the heat outside and my tiredness take over my will to succeed. They have been huge obstacles that  I need to get over. I feel like I'm travelling backwards instead of forwards these days.

I did go to the doctor and he ordered a bunch of blood work which I had done on friday. I'm sure I'll hear something in the next couple of days. He also ordered a 24hr holter monitor for me. I've had a couple heart palpitations (oh joy) so he thought it best.  I'm not too worried about it. It has only happened a couple of times and for about 10 seconds each, but it's better safe than sorry, right? I got them before I became a veggie head too, but once again very, very rarely. My family does have heart health issues so I thought it best to inform the doc and get it checked out before it becomes more of a problem. With more weight loss, exercise and healthy food choices though, I hope it never does!

I am back to tracking and although I doubt I'll see a big loss at WI on thursday, I am hoping to at least see something.  I found eating via my points during the day far harder than eating my points when I'm on a night shift. I'm back on nights now though, so here's hoping I can kick some ass in the next two weeks.
Since rejoining WW in the last month I've lost 11.2 lbs.  My goal for the next month (July 17-August 17) is to lose 10lbs. It's a bit ambitious I know (since I will most likely not have a killer number like my first week ever again), but with a return to running, and tracking really well, I think I might be able to pull it off.  If I don't, I'll still be happy I lost something so no worries!  Another goal I haven't forgotten about it the 5K next month. I must fight the heat and my laziness fatigue and get out there and run again.  I still really want to participate in the 5K run next month. I have 39 days to train. I can do this! I will do this!!!! Sure the heat might kick my ass again and again when I run, but at least I got out there and tried. Right now, I'm sitting on my ass more than anything and I don't like it! I've come too far to give up now.

A few things I've done lately to help myself succeed are....

I got groceries! Yay!!!! Anyone who has been reading this blog for awhile, knows I HATE grocery shopping. I mean, once I'm there I'm fine. I just hate GOING! I ended up going to Watson's Farm  to switch it up a bit. Plus there's  nothing better than fresh grown local fruits and veggies! Since I was a kid I have gone and picked fresh raspberries and strawberries in the summer at Watson's Farm. This year I didn't pick my own (it was threatening rain when I was there and didn't want to chance it), but I did pick up both berries along with corn on the cob, cucumbers, potatoes, peppers, and green beans. The strawberries are SOOOO much better than the ones you get at the grocery store. So so sweet. The ones at the grocery store have zero taste and almost made me think I didn't like strawberries anymore!

I then hit the grocery store where I bought  beets, kale, cherries and watermelon, along with whole wheat bread, free-run omega 3 brown eggs,  a few 100cal snacks, soy and almond milk, along with a few other things I'm forgetting at the moment.  Needless to say my fridge is packed with great food which can only help me succeed!

I also e-mailed a Goodlife gym near my house asking about membership prices. I have yet to hear back from them though. Really I should have called, but I was just searching around the internet and found their e-mail and decided what the hell. Initially I had talked to a friend who rented gym equipment thinking I could just rent a treadmill for the summer when it's super hot out, but I found out it would cost over $70/month. That is INSANE! My girlfriend has kids so finds it easier for her this way, but for me who doesn't, it just doesn't make sense. Why rent one piece of equipment when I can just go to the gym and use far more pieces for less?  It all still really depends on price though, so we'll see. I think it might be the best thing I can do for myself though. I didn't want a membership for fear of not going after a few months, but if it will help my running which I'm determined not to give up, it might actually be worth the risk. Plus my 30s are all about giving a shit, so I can't give up! I can't quit this time!

Anyway, so that has been my life in a nutshell.  Oh.... last but not least, thanks to Missarahlou I have been given a blog award! Woohoo!!!  In my next post I'll be sure to follow the rules and tell you all #7 new things about myself and nominate others! thanks again Misssarahlou!

Hello From Up North!

Oh what a life! I spent the whole day yesterday out on kamaniskeg lake. It was a gorgeous day for boating and swimming and most importantly relaxing. It's exactly what the doctor ordered....minus the sunburn!
Yup, that's right folks, I look like a cooked lobster (poor little guy) at the moment, but that's okay, I'm not too, too sore and todays weather was crap (aka - crazy rain storm!) so I stayed indoors most of the day.

Food wise I've been doing pretty well. I've used a few of my weekly allowance points, but hey...that's what they are there for! My parents enjoyed spaghetti last night with italian style veggie ground round and President's Choice whole wheat pasta. They liked it.  It honestly taste like beef and could fool anyone! It was sooo good.

Today as I said I spent the majority of the day inside the trailer. I watched a few movies and then went for a run. I'm still feeling discouraged about my running. Yes my pace is a lot faster than it use to be, but I can't sustain it. I ended up walking after 10 minutes.  I suck. I truly am thinking of starting the couch to 5K all over again...but just trying to run it faster.

Anyway, dinner is about to be served. Corn, veggie dog, potatoes...what more could a girl ask for!

Food Good, Running not so much...

Well, I'm 240lbs with my clothes off! Woo-hoo!!!!! I yet again weighed myself this morning and I'm back down to 240lbs. Crazy. Now if I can only be 240lb with my clothes ON. Damn you weight watchers for not allowing us to strip at the meetings.

Yesterday I did nothing. Sad, but true. I just wanted and needed a day to relax and not worry about anything. I did a little bit of sweeping and laundry, but other than that I watched TV and read. Yup...total couch potato. I do wish I had enough energy to run though. Why?... because then I wouldn't have to do it today! It's hot out there people, and I can't run at night because I work. Now I have to get out there at 3pm. Yup, that was poor planning. At 3pm it's still hot out! Hot = unhappy sweaty runner. I do have to get use to it though, as when I work nights, this is the time I will have to be running. It's either 3pm, or 8am when I get home from shift. I'm still not sure what's better. I'll have to maybe feel out both times and see. At 8am it would be cooler (maybe), but usually after working nights I'm kind of out of it and ready for bed. At 3pm though I'm in bed and  really don't want to get out!

I have to admit I'm worried about the run on July 3rd. Since the June 12, 2010 5K I did, I've only ran once! I know...where did my mojo go?  Not good. Mojo I need you right now! In all honesty,  I think I'm still afraid of the pain. The last few runs I've done have been pretty bad runs. Not enjoyable at all and lately I've felt like I've been going backwards rather than forwards.  I am trying to run faster, but it's kicking my ass. I've thought about doing some of the C25K weeks over again, as I increase my speed to see how that would go. I might try it today.  It's worth a shot. Anything to make running enjoyable again.

Other than that, food wise I'm doing okay. Today might be hard for me as I woke up at 10am and work nights tonight. LONG. ASS. DAY. Here's hoping I can nap for a bit before working 7pm-7am.  I've ate 6 points so far. I have 25 points left until tomorrow morning when I go to bed. I would have more if I had any extra weekly allowance points left, but I've already used those up at the weekend parties. :-( Wish me luck. I think I'll be chewing on several pieces of carrots and cucumber all night!