Damn you scale!

Well I finally stepped back into a WW office and weighed in. I'm not happy with my weight gain of course or the fact that I've pretty much gained all the weight I lost last year, but at least I went back and will hopefully not gain anymore. I'm not giving up though and I'm embracing the measuring cups yet again peeps.

I am still finding it hard to find my mojo these days, and even though my WI was on saturday, I actually didn't start tracking until today. I also haven't worked out really lately....but I did get groceries finally, so that's a good thing!

Mindset is a huge factor in my journey as in most people's journey I'm sure.  I feel I'm getting there, but  still struggle at times. Being alone and bored are still two factors that I find extremely difficult to tackle. As mentioned in previous posts, it's when I feel either of these that I usually gravitate a bit too much towards food. I do have things to do, but often I don't want to do them alone or I procrastinate on the things I could do. I then get bored because I'm not doing anything....lol.... Crazy I know.  I still struggle with low mood sometimes which makes my motivation to do anything and procrastinating even worse. I have found that depending on what is going on in my life, my mood is greatly affected by it. More than I'd care to admit. Drugs are good, but only work so much.  Usually this is all tied up with feelings of loneliness or disappointment and unfortunately, I still haven't learned how to comfort myself without food.

As I say this though, I'm not giving up on myself or my goals, and plan to push on. Even if it's the most pathetic push you've ever seen. I not only want to do this for myself now, but for Joelle -- my 10 month old filly. There will be a time when I can ride her when she's older, and I need to lose some weight so I don't break her back when it comes!  Some weight restrictions I've seen with horses is 210lbs. I'm back up to 240lbs. Ugh.... I will get there again my friends. For the love of god, I'll get there!

I'll leave you with a picture of Joelle taken only a few days ago. Isn't she cute?

Joelle looking at the camera!