Eating my Emotions

I've been eating emotionally lately.

I'm still tracking everything that goes in my mouth. I'm still counting my points, but I'm emotionally eating.

Life has been rough and because of that....

Yesterday I ate 60 WWpp. That is 33 points over my daily limit.

33 points!

I think that's the first time I've gone over that much in one day on this journey so far.

Thankfully Weight Watchers gives members an extra 45 points for the week, so I'm actually still on program. I haven't fallen off the wagon, so it's weird that I feel like I have.

I will admit I'm scared going forward though. Although I still get my 37 points for each day, I only have a few WW weekly points remaining and my stomach seems like a bottomless pit lately. The last few weeks I have always gone over my daily target and used my weekly points to cover the difference. It's been working fine (and totally allowed) that way, but lately I seem to be getting hungrier and hungrier.  I never feel full and for the last two days all I have wanted is comfort food. Add the fact that a few days ago I  ate four low fat cookies (for 3pp) but ate them so mindlessly, that I swore I still had one left when I didn't.  I feel like I'm in trouble.

I feel like I'm one french fry away from seriously falling off the wagon.

I can't let that happen though. I will not let that happen. I plan to go no where near a french fry, even if they do smell so darn good.  I will not let my emotions get the best of me. NOT. THIS. TIME. Even if life throws me hardships so heartbreaking that all I want to do is stuff my face with poutine and ice cream, I will not let my emotions sabotage my best efforts. I have worked too hard the last 3 months to get where I am today.

So my plan for the remainder of the week is to stay within my 37 points a day and get in three days of exercise. By working out, I'll gain more points which I can then use as needed. I'm going to try my best though not to use them. I think being more strict than normal is needed right now.

Look who it is!!!!

Well hello there! I know....It's been far too long. I'm sorry. No excuse really other than the fact life got busy and I just didn't feel like writing. When you're sucking at the diet/exercise thing, writing on a weight loss blog seems pointless, you know?

So anyway, lets see what's been going on with me.......

The winter months have been extremely difficult. I mean, I love snow etc.... but I don't own a gym membership so my running went out the window. Yes, I could have sucked it up and ran outside, but I didn't. I'm a chicken. It's cold out there folks!!!! It was just too damn cold and I didn't want to spend a crazy amount of money I don't have on  Running Room gear.

Sadly as I stopped exercising and began eating shit food again, I have gained back  a lot of the weight  I lost last year. Well.... most of it really. Yup, it TOTALLY sucks ass. I hate the fact I feel like I'm exactly where I was a year ago. How did I get back here? Oh right... I know. Ugh.

Just like a year ago though my motivation is starting to return and yesterday I started my spring training!  That's right ladies and gents, after 4.5 months of couch potato-ness, I ran on thursday night! It's about bloody time!!!!!

I was so nervous about going out. I was scared I would suck and be reminded of how out of shape I am once again and how I let myself go for the billionth time. I think this is another reason why I put off running for so long. To my surprise though, I'm not starting back at square one like I thought I would. I actually ran for 24 minutes! Me. So. Happy.  My friend and I who I ran with were cheering with glee. Sure we did 6s and 1s, but who cares? Now the key is to keep it up and run 3 times a week. I think that's doable. The weather here is getting nicer afterall.

On top of starting to run again, I also bought two new Wii workout games yesterday that my friend is addicted to (which has therefore helped her lose a bunch of inches and pounds off her weightline). One is the 'Biggest Loser Challenge' and the other one is 'Just Dance 2' -- here's hoping I love them to and can do them as often as my friend.

Food wise -- ugh. I'm still a member of WW, but have been literally flushing my money down the toilet as of late as I haven't been going. That has to change. I'm currently just trying to eat a salad a day (which is a huge improvement over the last few months) and then soon I'll get back to going to meetings. I have to although I really don't want to. I know I can't do it on my own though. Even if I eat healthy on my own I end up eating too much. I need a program that tells me when to stop eating for the day, and WW does that.

Anyway, so that's where I am. FATVILLE.  I have faith things will change though and I'll get back to where I was. I can do it. I have before! ;-)