It's been a long hard road to get back to how I was last year before christmas. I was focused, controlled, motivated and enthusiastic back then. Feelings I haven't felt in a couple months.
I feel my mojo is coming back though. Slowly, but it is. Funny enough TV watching has actually helped. Watching shows like the biggest loser and the new A&E show Heavy have helped greatly. They made me realize, I don't have a choice but to go forward. IF I don't, I know I'll gain this weight back and gain 50 pounds more. That is my reality.
Lately I feel I have been going backwards with regards to my weight loss and personal life. I have ate out a bit too much and I've opened a book that I thought was closed long ago with someone. ugh... weak moments do not result in good outcomes. January hasn't been the greatest month, and I am the first to admit that. I'm not motivating others or inspiring others like perhaps I once did and for the first time ever, I've thought about shutting down this blog. I'm not going to though, as this blog needs to see me finally succeed. I owe it that much. I know I have it in me to reach my goals related to weight loss, just like I had it in me to reach my goals to finish school, buy a house on my own, and even buy Joelle. I have it in me dammit! I just need to wrap my brain around the idea that I CAN do this. When watching HEAVY last night, the guy said something that struck a cord. He said something to the affect of, I don't let anything else get in my way of what I want, so why the hell do I let my weight? Good question!
I need to get back to exercising regularly and cooking more. These are what I'll work on going forward, and hopefully results will show on the scale. I want to be around the 200lb mark for my 32nd Birthday in June. I know I can do it if I just stay focused and keep my head in the game. I know I can, so it's about I did!
I have been losing some of my mojo lately too. You are right though. We can only go forward from here. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI know you can do it too. Keep your mind on what's important and take it one day at a time. I'm glad you're not shutting down the blog - more people read this than you realize. Stay focused and know that we're all behind you! Sonya - you're worth the effort!
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