It's been one hell of a fucking year!

I'm separated.

I have been for over a year now.

I didn't want to split despite the fact I should have.

Our relationship became toxic

It was abusive

He cheated

I went crazy.

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I know I deserve better.

I know I want better, but I wanted better still with him.

I always prayed things would improve. Change. Get better.

I always prayed that he would improve. Change. Get better.

He did not.

I did not.

We pushed each others buttons and hurt each other deeply.

That's not love.

Not the kind I should want anyway.

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Despite the above.....

We were planning a life together.

We bought new cars,

Planned to buy a new house

We were even  actively trying to have a baby together when in an instant, my life did a complete 180.

All my hopes and dreams were shattered and I literally fell apart.

Like Gray's Anatomy - Izzy on the bathroom floor apart.

15 months later. I'm still dealing with it all.

I'm still fucking angry.

I'm still fucking sad.

and I'm eating a boat load of food every day to deal with it all.