Trail Riding

Joelle and I went on our first trail ride together yesterday!! I was a nervous wreck (fearing she'd freak out over a twig or something), but she was cool as a cucumber! She really loved it and so did I. I'm seeing many more trails in our future!

I'm still doing well on isagenix. Some days I don't have much of an appetite at all, other days I feel more hungry. I guess that's normal. WI is Thursday. 

I'm also still rocking the Fitbit. I'm trying my hardest to get in 10000 steps most days. Funny enough, I usually accomplish this on my days off rather than on days I'm working. I'm heading into my two weeks of night shifts, so I'm going to try to get outside for a walk soon. I know I most likely will not get them in later. 

Weekly Weigh-In

You know when you have those weeks where you feel like you did everything right? The ones where you expect to see a big number on the scale, to then see less than what you were expecting? Well.... that was this week.

Weight loss: 2lbs
New weight 251lbs
Total lost since starting isagenix: 7.5lbs

Now I know that a two pound loss is a good loss. I also know 7.5lbs lost in two weeks is amazing. I'd be happy if I lost that on WW, but on this program I was expecting more. I really was. I always hear of these 'big numbers' on this program and want the same. I did my cleanse, I ate on target, I walked my steps, and the weight didn't fall off. Why? It's highly annoying and disappointing. I'll get over it, but still....

The only thing I wonder about is that this past week I've been under A LOT of stress.  It's gotten better, but it's still not great and maybe because of that my body responding as it should. Who knows.... Could be hormones, and all the supplements I'm on. It really could be anything, but whatever it is, it's not great.

For this coming week, I hope to reduce the stress even more and continue with the program. Hopefully then I'll see an even bigger number on the scale next weigh-in.

Back in the Saddle Again

Wow, thanks for the comments ladies! I know it's been awhile. I really wasn't sure if anyone would still be out there. 

Tomorrow is WI day, mind you I already checked my weight on Monday as I'm in a FB group that does WIs then.  I was already down 5lbs, so I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll see something similar or even better! Tomorrow marks a week on isagenix. 

The program is very strict, and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do it, but my determination is unwavering and it's paying off. 

It's been an emotional week physically and emotionally. DH and I are currently on the outs (got to love the ups and downs of marriage, eh?) and this past Sunday I fell off my horse. It was my first fall ever. It wasn't a bad falls as falls go, but I've been pretty sore since.  

I'll leave you with a picture of Joelle and I riding after falling off. Yes, I got right back on. You have to! 

 

My newest motivation.

It's been awhile. A very long time actually. As always though,  I'm still struggling with my weight.

Today I started a program by Isagenix and I'm bound and determined this time to lose as much weight as I can.

The reasons are different this time.

DH and I were recently told in order to have a baby we need to do IVF.

In the year since I've posted a lot has happened. My last post in May 2015, DH and I had just started trying to conceive (TTC) our first child. I was excited and happy to finally be ready to try. Sure I feared it might take some time due to my age, but to be honest I expected it wouldn't. Women in my family seem to be very fertile and I was expecting I was the same.

Last July I did find out I was pregnant. I was over the moon happy. I signed up for everything possible for future baby the day I found out, but a week later I miscarried at 5w. It was devastating. I then got pregnant two months later, but sadly I lost that baby too. I made it to 11w that time although I didn't find out baby had passed until my 12w ultrasound. It was a total shock. I had no bleeding or cramping like the first time.  NOTHING!!!  It was like a cruel joke. I was equally as devastated, but somehow managed to cope better than my first despite having to have a D&C.   Since November when I lost my last babe, we've seen a fertility specialist and got bad news after bad news about both DH and my fertility. DH and I are still shaking our heads at the fact we got pregnant twice so easily and now we're told IVF-ICSI is our only option.  I mean, were our last two pregnancies miracles? Sure they didn't work out, but still. How was it possible to get pregnant twice so fast, and now you tell us what? It all just fucking sucks. Sorry for swearing, but it does. A part of me (along with DH) still hopes that we might get lucky on our own again, but by the sounds of it, that is unlikely. There are miracles that happen though, so I have to hold onto hope. We still have a few months to go until we jump into IVF.

Of course I have gained weight since my last pregnancy and loss (emotional eating at it's finest) and now I'm almost at the top weight that I ever have been. I feel very unattractive and super fat.  I hate my reflection in the mirror these days, and I hate what I feel like. Regardless of all that though, I'm not trying to lose weight to feel better about myself.  I'm also not doing it  for vanity sake anymore. This time, I'm doing it for one reason and one reason only. To have a baby. That's it. That's the entire reason. I'm doing it as I need to lose weight to give myself a better chance of success at IVF. The cards are already stacked against us, and if I can try to eliminate one barrier for success I'll give it everything I got!!

Regardless of my new found motivation, I know it's going to be bloody hard. At the most emotional and stressful time in my life, I'm removing my one and only vise -- Food. I miss it already.

If you're reading this, please send me a shout out. I'm going to need all the support I can get. It's been a tough year, and I know it's most likely going to get tougher. I have to keep praying and hoping that by treating my body and soul like a temple, in the end I'll get exactly what I want. Fingers crossed (and toes too).